fourteen - carefulhaircutguys

I continued to look forward to encounters with this unusual new friend (My wife reminds me that I’m not so good at “usual”). Our encounters were by now expected, taken-for-granted, but still random, and unscheduled. His sense of time continued to have a pre-dispositioin for Now…He was always busy, always to-ing or from-ing, yet, our brief visits were generally relaxed. It remained a challenge for me to sneak in even edgewise questions, so, when the subject of “carefulhaircutguys” came up once again, I latched on. It occurred during one of a late-afternoon-sittin’-on-the-grassy-slope-watching-for-glimpses-of-sunsparkles-on-the-pond-ice cream-before-dinner-fixes we had begun to enjoy. When it came to ice dream, I was beginning to suspect a stage four alien addiction developing.
The seeming urgency of getting responses to his own questions was one thing, but I found myself reluctant to interrupt when he seemed mesmerized by undulating reflections of sunshine, or in rapt contemplation of the flavor du jour…

Carefulhaircutguys…clearly I don’t qualify…I don’t have much… I don’t get it cut often…and I’m not careful if I happen to comb it… carefulhaircutguys…I can tell…I don’t like ‘em…Riri’s descriptive label has a perjorative ring…it smacks of obsessive pre-occupation with one’s appearance as well as a compulsive inclination to control even small details…carefulhaircutguys…you can tell what they wear… carefulhaircutguyfancysuits …carefulhaircutshoes…hair trimmed so regularly an actual careful haircut is never needed…some sort of liquid helmeting agent you can’t really see but you know it ‘s there…and their words carefulhaircutguywords, jargon detached from truth, judgments exposing hypocrisy…whoa, wait-a-minute, a little carried away, a bit judgmental, I mean just cause they’re not self-righteous ragamuffins like, well, like me…take a breath…

And like I said, this time I latched on for a response…“Riri, tell me, what’s with this carefulhaircutguy stuff…who are the carefulhaircutguys?”

He gave me the usual “I no believe you so ignoring” looks, and sighed, “They Repubblecants. Mostly they Repubblecants.” I smiled…Republicans…I smiled real hard as the sun suddenly warmed my face…John… Boehner…here I go again…Repubblecants...

thirteen – there are earthguys and then…there are humanguys

From the beginning, Riri referred to humans as “earthguys,” and it gradually became clear that he was inclined to include animals in the category as well. His interest in the creatures he found in the woods, waters and skies around my home in northwest New Jersey, began with simple curiosity, but he soon developed respect for the natural fit of their behavior into the surrounding environment. Nature “earthguys”… “They belonging…they ingtellergent.” Whereas, from his point of view, “you kinda earthguys,” the humans, “self-absorbing”, “conveniated” and “earth-dangering” “not good fitting” folks, but “not all bad bad”… “Humanguys difficult for unnerstand…”

Before allowing Riri to continue, I interrupted, out of my own need for unnerstand stuff…”conveniated”… “Help me, what is ‘conveniated’? What do you mean by that?...”

He hesitated a moment, seemingly stunned by my apparent ignorance…I really had no clue…conveniated?...”Something to do with convenience”? I ventured, “What’s wrong with convenience?”

Con- vee-nee-ence… yes…you kinda earthguys not so fitting, want easy, fast, pop-in-mouth, instink (instant?) faster, easier, remote-control…Do you unnerstand the cost of conveeneeence…? The costs of conveniated is ingconvenient…

twelve – the visible “man”

In the preposterous excitement of meeting, and actually conversing with, an observer from another world, my own powers of observation were not quite what I like to crack them up to be. I don’t think I miss too much, even unusual or unlikely connections so obscure that they can leave my wife shaking her head as if it was me that was an alien. In adjusting to the reality of the existence of this little character, it seems I simply overlooked, or took for granted, every think about him.

The fact of his existence had overwhelmed my need for the facts of his existence. About three feet tall and thickish without seeming either fat or muscular, he rarely slowed down enough for me to consider, let alone suggest, some measurement. An opportunity did develop one day out of Riri’s observation that “earthguys all differing sizes and looking,” and that by “earthguys” he matter-of factly includes not just humans, but all creatures great and small.”

“Where I come all same same,” was explained to me, as he stood proudly for his measuring - 2’103/4” There was another measurement I was very curious about…his weight. I could guesstimate his height but his weight was another thing…something about his appearing and disappearing, and variations in color, which seemed to reflect corresponding variation in density, poked my curiousity…how could something transparent have much, or any, weight?

In the process of measuring Riri my hands brushed lightly his softfurrysmoothskin. My fingertips tingled and tiny sparks sort of phizzed when there was contact. Riri didn’t seem to notice or acknowledge if he felt anything… “ I 2feets103/4,” , he repeated , apparently satisfied with his stature …then, “I go now,” and was soon sniffing lilies on his way down the path, dissolving as he progressed, invisible by the time he reached the front gate...before I could try to weigh him or learn anything "personal."

I smiled to myself as I snapped my measuring tape several times in wonder at the continuing adventure taking place, in my mind, as well as in my garden…