7 "nice bumps"...it's ok to have too much fun

How to prepare my wife??? I was excited, but my story was preposterous, and the evidence to support it was, at the very least, suspicious. On top of that, Diane is one of those who thrive on certainty and concreteness, and is inclined to prepare very conscientiously for company. The thought that something as unusual as a small extra-terrestrial creature could show up whenever Now was, might take her around a bend I'd be reluctant to follow.

As it turned out, whether it was because the possibility of preparedness was not an option, or more likely, because she didn't take me seriously, she was very relaxed that evening when he showed up. We were just sitting down to watch one of those TV dance shows, when a thwack of the screen door closing followed by shuffling sounds from the front porch signaled a visitor.
There was no way to have prepared anyone for what followed.

"Hi...welcome"..."hi," he murmured shyly as he entered clutching a haphazard, but beautiful, bunch of utterly familiar flowers that a few minutes before had been thriving in Diane's much cared for perennial beds that welcomed friends to our home. Offering the awkward bouquet of random length stems, he gazed up at my spellbound spouse, and said softly, "Nice bumps!"......He then turned to me, saying, with a bit of confidence earned by what he had considered an appropriate compliment, "You Diana, she very good bumps...nice"... And then back to Diane, reaching to shake hands just as she was realizing which bumps he was admiring..."Me Riri , nice bum"/"yesthanksvase, vase, I'll get a vase!" I couldn't help smiling as she groped for a container,, nearly dropping the arrangement. I met Diane's sideways "what's goin' on?" glance with a weak shrug, as Riri, without invitation made directly in search of the source of the dramatic Latin rhythms emanating from the family room...After exchanging perplexed glances once more, we followed uncertainly......

The awkward prospect of sitting and visiting with what had morphed from a shy curiosity into an "800 lb. gorilla in the room" was however, quickly dispelled. Before we could sit down the hilarious response of our diminutive guest to an Argentine tango had us in stitches. Swaying to the dynamic rhythms soon led to gyrating on the arm of the recliner, and then, to sashaying back and forth on the back of the loveseat. We were informed that this was his first exposure to "life" music and dancing and that he couldn't understand the concept of watching dancing. "Why do that?...crazyearthguys...dancin' is dancin'...I boogie dude"... It was immediately clear that there was no way we were gone sit down like "crazyearthguys...When the program ended an hour later, we were informed he "coulda dancin' all night" (we couldna). Riri's joyful jitterbug had been "off-the-wall" (I mean walls)...His waltz wasn't what you would call graceful, but it kinda sorta flowed, and an emphatic cha cha cha was right up there with the tango. When the last notes faded, so did our visitor, continuing to waltz til he flopped on a cushion, soon vanishing, without a word.

A quick survey revealed that nothing had been damaged or broken, although our sides hurt from laughing.  Diane and I, still smiling, wearily slowdanced to lingering vibrations, 'til they too gradually melted away into the stillness of a very dark night..."Nice bumps, babe".....

Who was it, said, "It's ok to have too much fun!"?

It is ok to have too much fun!

6 –now what?…ice cream melts…what now?

His approach to time remains a stretch for me. Intellectually I get it… time… always Now…but how can one live like that …always in the present…How could you make plans or schedules ?!!

What a character: sensitive, curious, alert, intelligent, persistent, invisible…and… likeable. After a few brief encounters, barely having scratched the surface , I already felt like I knew him in a friendly sort of way

“You like?”

Startled, I turned, and found myself being offered a triple chocolate Dove bar…it had begun to soften, but was still quite manageable …

“Edygrandslowallchurnednaturallightfrenchsilk too much wet!” he declared, “love Dove…I burrow” (again I was afraid to ask where)…He commented, while watching intently as I unwrapped my treat…”Not eat skin? Huh!”

As I explained further, that the “bone” made a good handle, he burped, then, ripping and tearing, dispatched several, reluctant to not eat the “bone” as well. As he tossed the papers I noticed that there appeared to be a wad of a well-chewed “skin” at his three-toed feet. Although I couldn’t help smiling, I felt some anxiety creeping in…I was becoming impatient with the sit-com aspect of his brief appearances. Opportunities for serious exchanges to educate each other about what had suddenly become, at least for me, a different sort of universe, were precious. Time might be Now, but it felt like it was slipping away. How many more opportunities could there, would there, be? I shared my concern as he licked his fingers (three, and an opposable thumb, like in cartoons). His response was a burp once more, and then, “Meet wife? Meet you wife, Now.”

“I…she…,” I hesitated, as he began to dissolve…

“Now…”

“See you,” I whispered…

5 - seeing is believing - some of what I've seen is believable

Finding an empty cardboard ice cream sandwich container on the kitchen floor lifted my mood briefly. Picture an orangey little character from outer space devouring five or six ice cream sandwiches on your kitchen floor. Finally, after four days, there was tangible evidence, which though it might not be admissible in the courtroom of a spouse, at least reassured me that what I was experiencing was real. However, as hours passed, and the visitor did not reappear , my disappointment and sadness grew.
When he didn't show the next day, as well, I was feeling terrible. it was so unnecessary for him to be frightened. My inability to do anything other than wait and hope was frustrating. It began to dawn on me the following morning that what I was missing wasn't simply the adventure of this exotic and unprecedented kind of experience. There was something about his way, his take on experiencing our land and culture, his insights that seemed to blend wisdom and innocence. I wanted to hear more...
And, just at that moment, I did!
I sorrow I burrow too much ice cream. You like edygrandslowchurnedlight-frenchsilkallnatural? I get some. I burrow else (I didn't ask)...it tooo gooood.
My enthusiastic response frightened the little fella as he extended a soggy half-gone half-gallon offering, in part, to protect himself. It was clear that he had eaten a generous amount and that what remained was melting...It wet , he explained with a shrug, and an awkward smile.
I begged him not to disappear anymore and was there a way for me to get in touch and how much I liked his visits and that I hoped we could keep talking I'll get some bowls and spoons how long will you be around will you meet my wife?!
He cut me off with "carefulhaircutguys liking ice cream?"... Hard to think... hard for seeing...I prefer visit you too. I be back. See you Now?
I was left with my wondering, again, when he would show up, and this time, about "carefulhaircutguys" as well. Where and how could he have experienced such an image? Who was he talking about?? carefulhaircutguys....

4–Ice cream…we all scream…nice dream…ice cream

God!?…who is going to believe this …? Who would? Have I lost my mind? Who could…? Now… Blabbermacallits…Carefulhaircutguys…God…what next?...

“Ice cream!”

I jumped. The little mind-boggler had materialized, this time, next to me, as I sat at the café table at the edge of our garden, early next morning ,with a strong, sweet, morning coffee. Had this guy been reading my mind... a mind that I was apparently in danger of losing? The delicious warmth of the coffee and admiration of neat dewy rows of late spring lettuces and broccoli and swelling lily buds had been helping to ground me (sort of) but, now, what…?

“Oh!...er….uh…hi…good morning…ice cream? Have a sit… Ice cream…? What about it?”

“Ice creammmm, love ice cream,” he repeated, conjuring recollections of Cookie Monster. “Ice cream too good…merry good…I like…”

“Yeah, me too…how…do you know about ice cream?...where did you get some?”

He looked somewhat uncomfortable as he mumbled, “Door open…I burrow,” and gestured in the direction of our kitchen. “Love ice cream…I burrow…”

“You what?!”

He shrank suddenly and disappeared, this time with an audible pop!

“Wait!” I felt terrible…I wasn’t angry at all, just surprised…and I was so relieved when after a few minutes, he reemerged rather tentatively, and careful to keep a large prickly rosebush between us. I gestured, saying, “it’s ok, I’m not mad” He remained defensive, approaching slowly, seemingly ready to “pop” if threatened.

“Love ice cream…where get?” he asked, relaxing slightly.

“oh, don’t worry, you can have as much as you like…we can get some more…help yourself…”

But, fearful tension returned with a belch, as he cringed, and repeated meekly, “I burrow…all gone…”. This time he faded as if in slow motion, with a soft “I sorrow” in the middle…

3 – God?...long-lasting…100% natural…hugs trees…laughs last

The next day, I had been lurking again, for quite a while, by the solar panels, anxiously hoping, and wondering…Now?...when was Now?...had I been dreaming?…hallucinating?…when the new kid on the block materialized behind me. Having been again awake most of the night wondering about our vivid, though dreamlike, encounters, I was eager to talk and came across perhaps a bit rude in pressing urgently… “God…tell me about your god…”
“What mean your god…God...your god…my god…everbodygod … god of everthink, everwho…you not knowing…?

“Er uh…I guess…I guess not…I mean…I…uh…I don’t…I thought…um…it’s just that it surprised me when you spoke of God’s gifts…I mean how could…Interrupting gently, he said simply, “how could not… be…god… everwhere…god in everthink…airs…you…stars…me…clouds…trees (very enjoy hugs)…waters …god IS…! After a pause for consideration… I asked, “what about the Church and the Bible and Presbyterians?”

“Oh, God there too, but, more hard find... fancy outfits, fancy talkin’…God there, maybe shy when bigmouthguys tell god stories…too much fancy, too much loud… God in there somewhere, but more hard find…don’t happy too loud…God more quiet outsydoors type… no like fancy…prefer 100% natural.” After giving me a moment to chew on these words, my friend continued…“Now you tell, why it is carefulhaircutguys loudtalk god allatime?…say, ‘god their side’…they maybe daze and dumbest, yes? …if god their side, why they need talk fraidyscared alla time?…god not preferring … god all sides, everwhere… god in church even…but more better find god THERE,” he said, gesturing toward the pond behind me. As if on cue, a cloud courteously shifted to allow sunshine to shimmer brilliantly on the reflected sky and trees, now rippled by a gentle breeze. Flickery flecks and specks of sparkle brighter than diamonds danced on the surface. I may have felt a whisper of reflective warmth on my cheek…

“God?”

“I be back”…

I turned, mouth open, fingers to my face, speechless…the little guy had already begun to fade…

2 - earthsadness...God is in the details...the time is always Now

For the remainder of the day, and all night, my mind had a tough time wrapping itself around my experience. No traces of evidence remained to confirm my encounter, so my mind kept trying to get a handle on whether it had even taken place. In any case, I made no mention to my wife. I didn’t want to provoke her already suspicious regard for my approach to reality. Next morning, after she left for work, I sat, somewhat hopeful, on the cushiony grass of a slope near the solar panels, and continued with my puzzling. Weary after a restless night, I laid back, in the “nothing-so-fair-as-a-day-in-June”-sunshine, and drifted off almost immediately after closing my eyes, “just for a minute.”

The words, “Do you unnerstand you earthplanet don’t happy , very trouble…,” invaded my siesta. My earnest little visitor hadn’t apparently felt a need to wake me, before picking up with a conversation we hadn’t even started. His eager gentle shyness had clearly given way to serious, somber overtones. He seemed as disturbed as me about an ailing planet whose remarkable beauty had attracted his attention from afar, and as I learned later, it was what drew him into range of the irresistible power of its gravity. Then, out of nowhere, “Earthguys no appreciatate God gift.”

I was astounded “God’s gift? God? What…do you mean…? He returned my incredulity, “You not knowing God…? Creator of anything, whole enchilada, everwhichway what is there, God in it…in flower… tree…(preferring hugs)…I was confused…There was silence…then he added,“we more talk again maybe…I like …?”

“Yes, soon…me too…hopefully…I would like that…When? Is there a time I can expect you?

“Time?” What mean time?

“You know…like 10:45… I was surprised by my struggle to explain, when suddenly his face brightened… “ I get! You mean Now. Where I come, Time now, always …Now…we talk now…,” and as he faded to invisible “Seeing you now …!

1- I need some help here…an open mind, like an open parachute, is better

For more than four years now we have been enjoying the fact that the electricity we need for our home is generated by an array of photo-voltaic panels on our property. While it’s true that during cloudy or dark times, some power flows to us from the national electricity grid, this is more than offset by the excess energy we contribute to the grid during bright, sunny periods. We are paid for any surplus we generate and it feels good when we see on our monthly production statements that significant amounts of coal and oil were not burned on our behalf. It is important to feel part of a solution to an environmental problem, rather than helpless contributors to the alarming evidence of global warming. Naturally, it sustains this sense of well-being, after particularly windy storms, to go out behind our home to make sure there has been no damage, and that this photo-voltaic system is ok.

During one such an inspection, I had a sudden, remarkable encounter with an unusual creature I discovered half –hiding beneath the array of electric-producing panels. It appeared to be some sort of rusty-colored animal about two or three feet tall that was carefully situated for self-protection under the structural supports of the power source. It didn’t take long to realize this was not a specimen to be found in any wildlife guide. After suspiciously eye-balling each other for a few moments, I felt, from the gentleness of his demeanor, and his diminutive size, that I had nothing to fear.

My spell of amazement continued when he began to speak in a soft pleasant voice saying, “hope you weren’t worry, I sleeped in jungle behind you palace while rezoomining blebbergasters, for long swim where I come.” His “English” surprised me although it did sound as though it had been learned by listening to interviews with Russian hockey players.

With effort, I ascertained ( I think) that this creature was from a starry place, “long and far,” and that he had emerged from invisibility in order to “thanks, important palaceguy, and for help understand stuff.” I gathered that a seven room Cape Cod style “palace” was impressive from his point of view (and thereby the occupants “important “ ), and that he was somehow using our solar electric system to recharge his means of transportation. As I scanned uncertainly and unsuccessfully, seeking evidence of a spacecraft, he continued, saying that he “trouble understand me explain difference between earthguys for ‘Universe Story’ I rechurching.”

Then, before he could elaborate, he began to fade, dissolving like a daydream… disappearing…gone…

“What the…what…Wait…hey, wait…”